The intrinsic workings of an introverts soul.

Have you ever watched the intrinsic

workings of an introverts soul?

We hide deep within the shadows

listening as shoes are worn thread bare.

We scuttle through raindrops

feeling the celestial embrace upon our skin.

We roar into empty skies at twilight

with the moon caressing silent thoughts.

But if you look real close,

if you pay attention to our inaudible beat,

you can see us skipping across powder puff clouds

of white searching in emerald skies of blue,

dancing to natures frequency,

singing to the birds symphony.

Have you ever seen the intrinsic

workings of an introverts soul? 

Karen Hayward* ©2017

June, sat feeling helpless in the corner of her living room whilst her daughter Sally cried into a large pile of Junes clothes.  She hadn’t been inside this house for 365 days. She saw the room with fresh eyes. How she had missed it, she thought to herself.

‘You wore these the day before you left.’

Sally said holding up a pair of dark jeans. She didn’t expect a response. But still she said it out loud, hoping something might have changed, somehow. Sally reached into the pockets and retrieved a crumpled piece of paper. A shopping list. Her throat burned as she held back tears. There had been so many tears over the past year.

‘My shopping list. I was going to make lemon squares.’ June whispered.

Sally continued to look at the crumpled list. You never did make the lemon squares, Sally thought. June edged closer to her daughter. She wanted to hold her, to apologise for leaving her. She moved her soft fingers across Sally’s tear soaked cheek. Sally reached up her hand and placed it where her mothers fingers had been.

Sally knew today would be hard. She carefully folded the shopping list and tucked it gently away inside one of her mothers journals. She continued to carefully fold her mothers clothes into bags. Acceptance was the hardest thing. She lay down on the floral sofa and spread out her legs as she had seen her mother do so many times. June crouched on the floor beside her.

‘I can’t stay long Sally. I’m sorry.’ June whispered softly to Sally.

‘I miss you mum.’ said Sally.
‘Sally what are you doing.’

Sally turned toward her dad. Tears rolled helplessly down her face.

‘Oh dad, I miss her, I miss her so much.’

June watched as Sally effortlessly hugged her arms tight around her dad.

‘I have to go Sally. I’m sorry.’ June said, trying hard not to look at her past husband 

June softly kissed the top of Sally’s head and gently squeezed her arm.

June walked out through the front door, tears toppling down her face. They say it gets easier; she thought, that each year you grow stronger. How can it, she thought. She always wondered whilst growing up what hell might feel like, and now she knows. Hell is being dead, whilst the people you love continue to live. Hell is being within distance to kiss away their tears but knowing they will never feel those kisses and those two will keep on falling. 

Karen Hayward ©2016

The beginning.

Like all newbies to the world of blogging I researched tirelessly what I wanted to share with the world. I sat with a steaming mug of sweet tea and trawled through pages of perfect penmanship, whilst nibbling on chocolate. I hunted for the single thread of creative illumination that screamed 'You can do that!' Sadly it was no where to be seen. My only discovery was that the best blogs are written by masters, masters of their subject choice.

There are endless blogs floating around in cyberspace all of them expressing something in perfect form.

 So what is my blog destiny and how do I find it?

I could delve into the world of cats. Occupy their minds and describe the inner thoughts of my gorgeous Black cats. Notebook in hand I could follow the adventures of Cookie 'the daring Black cat,' or 'Whiner the whinger' and lets not forget Princess Tinkerbell, 'the soppiest kitten in existence.'

Or I could add to the endless realm of parenting blogs; or knitting, or gardening, or my love of books, the list just grows and grows. But the truth is I'm good at alot of thing, but i'm no master. Perhaps I am destined to live a blogless live, die old with so many things left un-shared.

By now you maybe wondering, so what is this blog all about then!?

After hours of indecisiveness I have decided to blog about my very existence. My journey; self discovery, growing older, destiny, fate it goes by so many names. Call it what you please.

I am master of my own universe and this is my journey. I am; Mum, wife, daughter, sister, aunt, friend, enemy, writer, artist and a whole combination of other bits and bobs that mixed together make me. This is the blog of my journey.

Welcome to my universe of tiny stories.